Brainless Tales of the Sold-Out.

Today I worked. Yeah, me. I did a photo shoot I was casted for about a month ago for this hair extension brand something. Found lots of irony in a campaign for hair-extensions featuring me, never thinking they were actually planning to actually use them on me. I mean, Lord knows I have enough hair to build Bella a new wig collection. Figured they’d just fake it, like they did with this one thing I did for a hair magazine called SLCTR. Months later I picked up a copy only to read with what complicated techniques they’d apparently coloured and dyed my hair. I Oh-no-she-didn’t snapped my fingers right in that there kiosk.

So the surprise was all mine when the missus pulled out long strings of red hair. Her look was one of pure hatred as she told me what pains she went through to dye them my colour. Apparantly my hair’s hue changed with every photo she saw and she ended up spending 3 days and 6 different dyes to come up with something that’d match. At least it’s good to know they won’t be copying my exact colour anytime soon, unless they’re really dedicated. Weird thing is, I know of some who would. Sad.

After Pernell bronzed me up real intense and Hester put in the extensions- or well, she only got to one weft before it became too much hair to handle- and the first curls I felt like my name should be Latoya. I fucking swear, I resembled some sad excerpt of a music video to a song called Nubian Queen.



The curling alone took an hour as Hester was adamant about using the smallest curling iron she had with her.. only to immediately start brushing it out when finally done.

During the shoot she continued brushing as dear Pernell hollered “I’m an old wrinkly gay guy, I swear there’s nothing in it for me!” before he started rubbing bronzing foundation all over my tits. Class act.

1hr wait in total + 1hr make up + 1hr curling + 1hr hair in total = 4 hours.
Actual shooting time= 10 minutes.

Modelling is about sitting still. And getting paid for it. Oh, and starving yourself, but that’s like studying for school. It’s the tests that count. We all hate on the lucky kids who don’t need to study for ‘em.

All in all, hope Philip and team are pleased. One of my highlights of the day was meeting the Hair-Extensions-Missus’ boyfriend who was a game designer for games like Killzone. Guy worked for Guerilla, for Sony. Awesomesauce. He sure didn’t expect my appreciative gasp, let’s keep it at that.

The hair’s gotten even better now it’s slightly sagged out, I have manes, yo’. Manes made of mayhem and madness. Sitting here behind my computer reluctant to go to bed in fear of waking up and finding all this heaped up gloriousness utterly ruined. Wonder how long I can drag this out for, I’ll have to take the damn extension out some day, eventually. But I think, what with this insane weekend coming up, I’ll have my hair done did for now.




G’nite!